Woah.
I really wasn't prepared for this.
At all.
I promoted.

Oh crap.
It's like I'm astonished but... scared.
This is really a wake-up call for me.
O-LEVELS ARE NEXT YEAR, HELLO.


L1R5 38.
That's not gonna get me anywhere.
Maths overall passed.
Along with english and science.
That's it.

Parents didn't take it too well.
Gonna get tuition for nearly every subject according to my dad.
Stress stress stress.




I pray to God I can cope with this.

7 subjects.
5 failed, 2 borderline passes.
That's a definite retain for me.

I need direction in life.
I'm downright clueless what the hell I'm supposed to do now.
Retain?
Drop out?
Transfer?

So many options.



Plus my parents aren't even making a fuss about this.
It's up to me now I guess.
Like, what the hell am I to do now?

Don't think I need to mention that 1 to 10 scale cos the answer's pretty obvious.




If anybody even reads this,
this is an SOS call.
I'm already on the brink of giving up.
Somebody convince me not to.
Please.

I feel like all hope is lost.

On a scale of 1-10,
I'll say it now and say it loud.
8.
I honestly don't see the fucking point anymore.
In anything.

Math papers were nearly impossible.
Gonna fucking retain.
My parents talk about retaining as if it weren't a bad thing.
It's true to an extent.
But I'm still way against it.

I need an escape.
I wanna get away from here,
so damn far away.


.
Oh and a news flash for you.
The last thing I wanna see during this period of time would be people who are excessively happy.
They just piss the fuck outta me.
Like, seriously.
Go be happy somewhere else.
Not around me please.
Know what makes it worse?
When people fucking brag about it.
Stfu.
I swear to God I'm gonna hammer the next happy person I see straight in the face.

Must I resort to giving up on everything?
Throw away my cares.
Throw away my future.
Throw away my friends (like I even have any).
Throw away family.
Throw away studies.
Throw away EVERYTHING.

What's it feel like to do so?
Can't help but wonder.
Drugs, cigarettes, alcohol;
Could this potentially be an escape?
Or am I misleading myself to ultimate turmoil?
Obviously its the latter, but I can't help but wonder.
I'm so close to giving in to temptation.
So close to giving up trying to fight against it.


Give me a scale, from 1 to 10.
Ask me how badly I want to give up on everything now.
I'll tell you 5.
Currently.
You can bet your last dollar this scale is going to increase drastically.


I hope I don't turn into one of you.
I'd rather see myself somewhere else.
Plus it'll be the last thing I'd be.
Fuck my life.
Seriously.

I'm so fucking sick and tired of life.
I hope I get knocked down by a fucking truck and die the next time I cross a road.
Why do I want to be different?
I want to be indifferent.
That's just me.

You better pray I'm being pessimistic about this.
Cos I'm not seeing any hope in this piece of shit life I'm living.
Fuck this.
Hate the way everything is now.


You guys make me feel like fucking giving up on everything.
That's the main reason why I don't give a damn sometimes.
True, I don't show it.
I'm not stupid.

MAJOR HIATUS.
finally posting on this dead thing.
don't get too excited though.
it's only for today.

been mugging my ass off lately.
okay fine, you got me.
i'm just mugging.
my ass is still solid.
figuratively speaking, of course.


so, a few papers down.
a few papers left to go!
for once, i'm actually quite confident about my chinese.
WOAH.
but still expecting to fail.
hahaha yep.

I was exactly 50 words short for english compo.
hope I don't get penalised. D:

OMGSHITZ I THINK I'M GOING TO FALL SS/GEOG.
well i've nothing to say for ss.
given the two-liner I wrote for the 13 mark essay question and the 2 page long answer for a 5 mark question, there shouldn't be a need for further explanation. (:
BUT GEOG.
I FORGOT WHAT THE HELL A TROPICAL EQUATORIAL CLIMATE WAS.
OMGWTFBBQFRIEDCHICKEN.
ugh.
stupid data sets and their climates.
I hate you, forests.
I <3 you, rivers and coasts.
hope I don't do too badly.
ughhh.

lit paper tmr.
between you and me, I haven't finished reading TFA.
hahah so gonna fail man.
still, 69.9% for CA2.
i'm quite confident.
0.1% AWAY FROM GETTING AN A2, WTF.
>:(

my brain is going to explode due to an overdosage of chem.
maybe its because there's some sort of metal and hot steam reacting in my head, causing an explosive reaction to... never mind.
see what I mean?
I know I can pass my physics, gonna try and aim for an A.
meanwhile, i'm trying to save my chem here.


POA is a lost cause.
enough said.



.
my L1R5 is probably going to be off the charts.
which begs the question; does hard work really pay off?
I honestly doubt so.


okay i'm gonna cram my head with shakespeare and african people now.
blog again soon!
I hope.