Must I resort to giving up on everything?
Throw away my cares.
Throw away my future.
Throw away my friends (like I even have any).
Throw away family.
Throw away studies.
Throw away EVERYTHING.

What's it feel like to do so?
Can't help but wonder.
Drugs, cigarettes, alcohol;
Could this potentially be an escape?
Or am I misleading myself to ultimate turmoil?
Obviously its the latter, but I can't help but wonder.
I'm so close to giving in to temptation.
So close to giving up trying to fight against it.


Give me a scale, from 1 to 10.
Ask me how badly I want to give up on everything now.
I'll tell you 5.
Currently.
You can bet your last dollar this scale is going to increase drastically.


I hope I don't turn into one of you.
I'd rather see myself somewhere else.
Plus it'll be the last thing I'd be.
Fuck my life.
Seriously.