As my final year in poly draws closer to its end, the reality of my future starts to hit harder - and that's a fact. I've been asking myself more and more each day: "What the hell are you gonna do once poly is over?" And I basically draw a complete blank. I realise that despite me being fairly confident in my photography career (or hopeful is the word I'd use, actually), I don't actually know what EXACTLY I'm going to do. Like, specifically. And this worries me. A lot sometimes. Sigh. This is only the work-related side of my general worries about the future. I do have conflicting, personal worries too, obviously (as you probably would've already gathered from my somewhat cryptic posts - to whomever out there that still actually reads all these). Ugh. Is this really what growing up's all about? How do you make it stop. I really haven't a clue how to go on from here. Then there's army too. UGH. As if things aren't bad enough as they are already. Sometimes I really think the only way to escape all this is literally just to escape. TRAVEL. See the world. Get the fuck outta this shithole. And believe me, I've been trying to accommodate for as many vacations/getaways as I possibly can before graduating. Sigh. But it's so hard. Maybe I'm just at that age, y'know? I don't even know what age I'm referring to exactly or what that 'age' denotes/indicates but... yeah. I don't know. Does this count as a quarter-life crisis or something of the sort? Fucking hell, I hate dealing with all this shit.