As I've mentioned before a couple times, my mind is in a constant state of disarray.
Ever picture perfect scenarios up in your head?
Or make things out to be so much more than they actually are?
Ever just think, and think, and think some more?
Then realise most of what you think about couldn't possibly happen or be true?
Why are our brains even capable of doing these things.

Rumours going round that so and so are dropping out of my course.
People (who definitely have the potential to do better than me) are either leaving, or considering doing so.
And I'm just here thinking to myself, how the hell am I supposed to cope with that?
I'd consider dropping out too, but I'd have nowhere to go and nothing to do.
Not to mention it'd be a stupid decision to make.
Sigh.

Over the last few weeks or so, I've come to realise that getting by really is an intricate process.
Or to put it more abstractly, an artform.
I mean, there's a lot more to it than you imagine, or at least there is to me.
The Art Of Getting By, evidently, plays a huge part in this, fueling my thought processes and whatnot.
It really changes my mindset towards many things.

Oh and I'm currently reading High Fidelity too, just to steer my mind away from things.
Hopefully that'll stop me from thinking too much.
Who knows, I might actually pick up a thing or two from reading it, maybe even learn something?
I still have yet to read Perks of Being a Wallflower, which bothers me ):
Maybe I'll start on Fight Club as well, soon. Been meaning to check that out for a while now.
Gah, so many books, so little time!

So, what am I really like? You sure you wanna know?
You could say that my most prominent trait is being overly sensitive (literally and figuratively),
if not slightly insensitive.
If possible, I strive to be the most unconventional person around,
meaning I will constantly think of ways to complete tasks that will set me apart from others.
Which brings me to my next point: difference.
I will admit, yes, everyone's different to various extents.
Question is whether or not that's a good or bad thing.
(I'm often in a constant debate with myself over this)
Also, my life and the decisions I make are heavily dominated by this one principle: passion vs practicality.
It's quite common for people to mistake my practicality for pessimism too.
Or maybe being practical just amplifies the pessimism, I don't know.
Oh, and I care way too much.
Does that count as a flaw?
I tend to get emotionally attached fairly easily, over short periods of time even.
So when eventually things don't go as planned or anything of that sort,
I get way more disappointed or upset than I should be.
Which isn't a good thing.

Thanks a lot, 'pillars of life',
you've somehow managed to manipulate me subconsciously to become more self-aware by evaluating my character.
I don't know how that happened tbh.



Frankly, I'm quite disappointed with my mid-term grades so far.
I know it's still not the final computation but I guess it's a rough guide for where I stand.

Visual Art: C
Digital Photography: B

Design Fundamentals: ?
Colour Theory: ?

Mathematics 1: B
Comm. Skills: ?


So yeah, I'm pretty anxious about the remaining modules.
I think I speak on behalf of the class when I say I'm quite demoralised after seeing this.
Then there's module credits/credit points/whatever they're called.
And I'm clueless as to how our GPA is calculated with these points and grades.
Sigh.