So I'm only due for enlistment in October (good news for me by all accounts).
Which leaves me plenty of time between now and then.
I don't know how to feel about this.

On the one hand I have my dad who's being a fucking hard-ass telling me to get off my ass and go find a part-time job or something and to basically stop lazing around every day.
First off: I'm not just fucking "lazing around" - I'm deciding what the fuck I want to do with my future. You think I don't think about these things on my own? Like it's not at the back of my fucking head like a tiny little itch that you can't get at and just won't go away? Fuck no. I think about it and it honestly frightens me. And your added pressure to "provide for myself and for the family" not only serves to annoy me but is also, frankly, quite unnecessary. I mean obviously I'm thinking about financially providing for myself for the time being and for the future, I just haven't thought of the means with which to do so just yet. Fucking hell. I swear to God almost every day (or once in two days) he'll bring it up. Like, way to make me feel bad about myself thanks. FFS.

You know what forget it I'm not even going to get into this right now I'm too angry to think straight.