Can't fucking stand people, honestly.
Like, on so many different levels.
Not even kidding now.
I know that over the years I've complained about this before -
I (probably) wasn't lying then, and I sure as hell ain't lying now.
I think like if there was ONE THING that could absolutely sort of sum up being a "normal" person per se - it would have to be owning an Instagram account (and posting somewhat regularly, if not very often).
WHICH IS WHY I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL NEVER OWN A FUCKING INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT I'D RATHER DIE THAN HAVE ONE SO HELP ME I WILL THROW MYSELF OFF THE NEAREST POSSIBLE BUILDING BEFORE CREATING ONE OKAY
By the way pardon me I'm a bit inebriated now so #partiallydrunkposts
Which should be a thing cos I feel like I can express myself much better right now, in this state.
So anyway, back to my disdain towards humanity in general.
I just can't fucking stand people.
And to be completely honest it's hard to discern between hatred and jealousy at this point.
Like, how do people have any sort of normal, meaningful relationships (even the platonic, non-romantic ones) with other people? I genuinely do not understand.
Maybe it's cos I've never had that with anyone before? I don't even know. Wow, like the chicken and the egg huh.
But yeah, normal people. Ugh, gross.
Again, I know I've probably said this so many times before: but perhaps this is why I retreat to my music and my films.
So... I guess this is a huge "fuck you" to those who talk shit about the music and the films that I love?
Yeah, you could say that's the whole point of this #partiallydrunkpost I guess.
Yeah.
I think I get it.
The reason why I feel utterly shit (about myself and towards the other people in question) when people talk bad or look down at the music and films that I like is because I feel like they're attacking ME *personally*.
Take normal people for example.
Say someone posts pictures on Instagram of their girlfriends and whatever.
And then someone slams them for it, like, okay maybe not openly but, like, yeah, amongst cliques or friends (again, something which I am evidently unfamiliar with).
"Oh he/she could do better" "Ew she's definitely not his type" "Wtf they're together???"
Shit like that.
I dunno I'm just assuming that's how normal people talk amongst themselves.
Yeah.
Okay you know what probably not even logical to compare the two.
Normal people's girlfriends against my love for music/films I mean.
I don't know.
What am I even writing now lol
Perhaps the hashtag for this post should just be #drunkpost and not partially haha.
Okay I'll pick up on this some other time then.
I'll be back.
So... parting thoughts? Just, um, a big "fuck you" to those of you who put down my taste in music and films I guess.
Like to those who claim that I'm some sort of elitist, condescending prick of some sort or whatever.
Which to a certain degree is not entirely untrue I suppose.
I don't know, I guess I like to see myself as being sort of that sort of person, but not really you know?
I don't know.
I just realised I'm actually reading aloud as I type this and it's 3:30am in the morning and I'm in my living room where my whole family can practically hear me.
Well, shit.
Okay pick up on this another time bye.

So I'm only due for enlistment in October (good news for me by all accounts).
Which leaves me plenty of time between now and then.
I don't know how to feel about this.

On the one hand I have my dad who's being a fucking hard-ass telling me to get off my ass and go find a part-time job or something and to basically stop lazing around every day.
First off: I'm not just fucking "lazing around" - I'm deciding what the fuck I want to do with my future. You think I don't think about these things on my own? Like it's not at the back of my fucking head like a tiny little itch that you can't get at and just won't go away? Fuck no. I think about it and it honestly frightens me. And your added pressure to "provide for myself and for the family" not only serves to annoy me but is also, frankly, quite unnecessary. I mean obviously I'm thinking about financially providing for myself for the time being and for the future, I just haven't thought of the means with which to do so just yet. Fucking hell. I swear to God almost every day (or once in two days) he'll bring it up. Like, way to make me feel bad about myself thanks. FFS.

You know what forget it I'm not even going to get into this right now I'm too angry to think straight.